Thursday, June 7, 2012

Losing Control


Unbelievable. They have made Jack their king. Its almost ridiculous the way they praise him, but I think it is because they are scared of him. Each and every one of them know what Jack Meridew is capable of doing and they are scared of the possibility that they might be his next prey; just like Piggy has been, and the pigs. It’s shocking, the way they are dancing and chanting around the blazing fire; they are complete savages by now and the fact that they thirst for blood and lust for meat is horrifying. It makes me feel they could even kill a human being. They are lost under that paint on their faces, it’s as if the mask has a life of its own. He’s taken my power, Jack; he has stolen it for good. I feel defeated, but glad because I haven’t lost control of myself…
The next part is very hazy in my head: wild, painted faces and bodies dance and chant faster, faster, indulging me into a crazy frenzy of savage nature. I’m stuck inside their ritual circle, my head spins, and my thoughts are taken over by the beast, the savagery in all of us. I soon realize there’s no real physical beast; Simon was right: the beast lives inside all of us. But the hunters don’t know that, they believe in a beast when in reality, the beasts are themselves. I’m losing myself for the second time on this island and I can’t seem to stop. I’m celebrating like the rest, “Leave me alone you stupid beast!” I tell myself but it’s stuck inside me. I bet Piggy hasn’t lost himself, he’s strong, more than me; his specs give him the wisdom to stay civilized, even now that they are broken. “Kill the beast. Cut his throat. Spill his blood” We watch the beast crawl out of the forest into our circle. I hear Jack’s orders: to kill it. "Kill the beast." I stand next to Piggy once again once I realize that the hunters are having at it. I can’t kill anything, not even a beast. Wait, that’s not the beast! It’s Simon!!! They just killed Simon. I just killed Simon.

-Ralph 

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